Hello...*echos*..hello hello hello .... Yes its been quite a while since I have written on this blog.. events in my life killed my muse... I was in a pretty low place for a long while and firmly believed this blog should only be about positive or at least negatives with a slant of humor for things to say. I had to grieve.. heal ...and begin again. Its been a journey of many emotions I hope never to go through again. I am not the same as I was, nor ever will be. But I am stronger ... and in that .. lies a nice positive :) Sooooo here begins Rosa Rambles blog post #93!!
Time Marches On ..........
There was a time in my life where I , like most of us do in our youth, felt I was immortal.. ne'er a thought crossed my mind about the ramifications of daredevil stunts, or crazy zany shinanigins. Climbing a tree as a tomboy with the only thought in my mind being. how fast can I get to the top?? A world of ramp jumps on rickety bicycles willingly attempted for the mere taunt of a double dog dare! I even met my future.. and now ex .. husband on a dare. Yes.. there was a time...
Funny thing about time marching on .. you dont notice it ......you dont hear it .. it just quietly plods along till one day you have THAT moment! Mine arrived June 23rd as I walked down the exit ramp of the same gigantic roller coaster Id been ridding for years before..
My legs were wobbly......my hands were sweaty ... and my forehead pounded like a jackhammer inflicting that one track thought to my mind .... DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! When did this happen?
My love to ride the roller coasters .. daredevil heart.. I stood in line for 45 minutes.. watching those before me ascend to 310 feet in the air ... and plummet at 80 degree angle some 200+ feet to the ground below. I heard the screams.. the wails.. I had no thoughts as to my personal impending peril .. I looked to my kids and smiled and heard myself saying " This is gonna be sooo FUN!"
I board the coaster.. strapped in .. lock us down.. employee comes to check were intelligent enough to fasten a seatbelt.. yeah yah ya .. come on .. push the button already lets get this party started! wooot!......
We clink clink clink clink up the steep 310 foot ascent... a sound that recalls in me more feelings of comfort from my younger days than fear of what im about to subject myself too... the smooth release from the chain that drew us up the hill .. that rush of the wind on your face as your falling ... im still living in the moment the exhileration of senses.. anti gravity hang times.. we reach the bottom and rocket forward tilting sideways at 93mph.. and hit that first loop... and BANG .. i get that forehead slam of DOH DOH DOH ... down another hill and my tummy suddenly has that very green and not so good feeling ... another quick tilt to the left and I slide in my seat jarring my hip into the side of coaster.. OUCH .. hey .. when did that hurt before?? ... and the last super high speed spin and jet launch to from 70mph to 0 mph in 3.2 seconds.. finds my back being cracked and that eyeball widening experession is shown upon my face as my kids say " WOW that was...hey mom .. you ok?"
Sighs..... 20 years ago I was a daredevil ... not a care in the world ... 20 years later im standing in line for colossal coasters with quite minds thoughts of did I bring the asprin from the car... wheres the nearest trash can in case I need to hurl .. and my worst moment .. when I heard myself volunteer to hold the bags and save a 10 locker fee to avoid placing myself on a coaster that hurls me 80mph upside down 6 times to avoid the now certian headache Id endure as consequence.
*hangs head* Hello My name is Rosa and I am a former daredevil?? Ha ha probably not, for despite the headache, the hip ache, the back cracks, and the very concious awareness of walking all day in a theme park of giant steel monsters.. I still found joy in the adventure :) Time marches on and has left me with a bit more awareness of my limitations but the daredevil in me lives on and I'll still take that chance........ now and then........in pursuit of that one thought goal .. how fast can I get to the top !!
Todays Poem: (Penned in a very lonely lost low moment of my life ) But life's much happier now
Dear Ol Lonliness:
Oh dear old Loneliness, why do you plague my life
weight upon my broken heart and fill my day with strife
Why do you show me others who have someone to hold
share their daily lives in pairs and hear sweet nothings often told
why must I face this role in life and on the path to roam
is it fates destiny that I'll always be alone
souls they come and souls they go each time I hope I'll see
a heart that truly cares and desires my company
but life is cruel, and timmings bad
moments of memories will be all thats had
Will I grow bitter and close up tight
withdrawl from friends and never feel right
I ache for a touch that never will be
I pine for a heart that doesnt for me
Tears, they flow and flood my soul
is this all there is or does fate have a goal ?
the music still plays but ive lost my feet
the melody rings yet the dance isnt sweet.
Thank you for reading :)