Journal

Hello! As once stated in this blog I am determined to post a few entries from my journal I kept when I traveled to Australia. If for nothing more than to have more than one written account of that journey. This is the disclaimer part of my blog entry, the warning that this may read like a dull narrative or it may read like a suspense.. this is your chance to scroll now or forever hold your yawns and sighs!

As you may recall from an early post I started off at the small airport in my hometown and the events that happened there (see previous post) this picks up where that left off.

~ Exert cont'd~
Finally our flight was called to board and we were a small group, only a small number of us remained of the large crowd that had once gathered in this waiting area.
As I walked down the corridor I thought, "It's finally happening! I'm finally going" but then I reached the plane and was a little shocked at how SMALL this plane was on the inside. Never having flown I was picturing a large plane like the ones you see in movies and tv. I thought as I boarded this craft , a schoolbus seems wider than this! But once I sat down in my seat * 5 A *, it didn't seem that small. I had a window seat which was very cool.

I thought the taxi down the runway part, was much like ridding in a car, albeit a very tall car! I was really surprised how quick we accelerated and how fast the plane was going then we lifted off and that was pretty darn fun!! I got to see houses,cars, swimming pools, all the things you'd expect but just cooler from so high up. Like a big patchwork quilt laid out on the ground! My first airplane ride!
so far .. so good!! We were above the clouds, it looked like a blanket of coolwhip! The flight from my hometown to Chicago was only 27 minutes, for this first time flyer that seems utterly amazing to me as it normally would take 4 hours by train.

Our stewardess was named Joyce and due to the short flight all she served for beverage was water which was fine by me. Upon landing we were all lined up to disembark, again all of us cramed into the tiny corridor of the plane made me reminiscent of desending the schoolbus at the end of the ride.. as Im approaching the exit door, the cockpit door opens and there sitting as pilot and copilot were the very same two men who'd so kindly talked with me in the waiting area back before the flight!! I found that quite funny! leave it to me to haphazzardly ask a random employee for guidance and have it turn out to be the pilot and copilot!

We arrived in Gate G6 and my next flight was to be departing Gate H12. It was a bit of a walk considering it was just the next letter of the alphabet ha ha, but I found my way * Yay me!! * and to confirm my job well done I ate more humble pie and asked a counter attendant if I was in right spot.

More on this trip in later entries... I hope you enjoyed this read.. if not * shakes you gently* .. Wake up ..it's over... Thank you for reading!

Todays Poem: Since i learned a lot on my trip, here's an ode to teachers...

Teacher

My eyes grow weary from the work on my desk
my thought process is in a terrible mess
from the pile of papers I lifted up my head
a quite distraction is what I needed instead

My eyes they gaze about the space
and on several others of the human race
I looked upon white collar and blue collar too
I looked upon leaders of me and of you

I started to see how important my task
to do a great job..one that would last
the work that I do in the field of education
brings great results if not great apprecaition

I sat there in awe of whom I share this room with
the future of our country in a class of school kids
of all the things I could have been...
a President, a sales rep, a doctor, a preacher,
I am glad I stuck with my first choice,
for I am proud to be a teacher!

Grocery Shopping

This weekend I went grocery shopping, you would think this a pretty mundane expierence. Go to the store , place items in the cart, purchase, and go home. But life has a sense of humor, or I do.. and a normal mundane task became a grand adventure :)

The day began with a quest.. donned in my jeans and sweatshirt I found myself immersed in the first step of the journey... the search for "the keys" .. yes this was a difficult task, I had to face great perils in this quest.. the walk of remembrance.... doing laps in my house in hopes the little gray cells would kick start as to where Id left them last... the hard fought battle against the collectible.. that one entity in the home that seems to be the catch all for all small loose items that disappear... otherwise known as .. the sofa... at last in the pocket of my lighter coat I would claim victory at finding the missing key!! *Silly Michigan weather*

Phase Two:

I ventured out into the cold.. this is not an expression it was freaking cold this weekend!! and the next phase of my journey.. this task in laymans terms was remove snow and ice layers from the car.....but it was an aerobic workout and endless loop of physical ran through my mind as I unburried and scraped the cars windows..

Phase Three:

Driving to the store..what is it about driving a car that can change the most mild mannered person into mario andretti? Sitting at the stoplight the car in front of me a black suv.. then me.. then a car behind me a little two door red flashy type model.. the light turns green.. we sit.. for about 10 seconds.. and the red flashy sports car honks horn...what purpose does this serve? Is the driver living in some denial state that impossibilites can come true.. like I could drive through the car in front of me like it was phantom.. and let him on his merry way? Trying to see the brightside.. I simply rolled down my window and waved at the impatient man. funny how that didn't seem to make him happy. I always love a good wave :)

Phase Four:

Entering the store is like a military covert operation..carts at 9 o'clock..
products fill the layout.. must focus on mission.. supply list in hand.. I set out..
delay number one.. a sweet old lady in a motorized cart.. who happens to want to head in same direction as me.. I dodge.. she weaves.. we end up in this to and fro dance in the middle of the entrance.. till I finally say.. you first.. and hold my ground as the lady rolls away..second delay, traffic jam.. a collection of shoppers who know each other but not often enough to keep up and immediate shopping stoppage occurs to stand and chat.. bypassing this jam I enevitably always end up with added items in my cart from the "ooo! that looks good :) " impulse buys. swiftly I complete supplies collection and make my way to the purchase line.. the eye is quickly darting from line to line.. which is the shortest.. which is the longest.. a lady of little patience is being very vocal as to her displeasure at the five minutes she must wait in line, shes vocalizing her presence to the cashier and anyone else in unfortunate earshot, threatening to take her business elsewhere if shes not served soon.. I turned to her and said " If it were you up there ringing up all these people would you appreciate a attitude like that? If you have no more patience than this perhaps you should shop elsewhere and spare us all your dramatics". sheesh! Today I opted to stand behind a elderly lady with many items in her cart.. I found it nice feeling to help her stack her heavier items on the conveyor and reload them to her cart..especially after talking so rudely to that annoying lady earlier. After ringing up my own purchases, and leaving with one less arm and leg * rimshot*.. exiting this mission will prove to be the greatest task yet.. for its snowed in the time I was inside store and little shopping cart wheels do not good snowtires make.. weighted down with groceries the cart wheels sink into the depths of the fresh fallen flakes.. questions the lord.. how out of shape do you think I am. the aerobic workout unburring the car wasn't enough now im getting great upper body flexes pushing this metalic basket to my car.. which WHAT WAS I THINKING parking a mile away.. Miss " oh the walk will do me good" .. UGH!
old man winter comes up to bite my cheeks and blow my hair like medusa as I struggle to load all the supplies before my fingers lose feeling from the cold..I battle the traffic once more so many ppl in a hurry to go nowhere fast.. once home the repeated trips to and from car to haul in the contents of supplies, careful sync timming is impressively done to manuever my way around the dog and through the door before it shuts again on each trip, unload the items and put them away. No fame and glory is given for this completed adventure .. but I collapse happily in just the thought "It's done" :D

Todays Poem:

Untitled

I started down the long narrow way
my four wheels turning slow
you have to watch the other ones
who dont know where to go

I have hardly even started
when I see it - traffic clutter
I work my way around them all
as people's anger sputters

I see that now Im half way through
I might just get this done
I've nearly completed this task to do
and I haven't crashed into anyone

Then I pull my heavy load
into a waiting line
I look for something constructive to do
while I wait and pass the time

Just a few minutes more
and then my wheels I can park it
for I'll have survived another day
of shopping at the supermarket!

Thank you for reading

Inspirations

Hello!

I had a friend point out to me recently that I have not put an entry on this blog in quite a while. It surprised me to know people were actually reading this blog, and that anything I may have written was interesting enough to be missed. This inspired me to not just copy & paste an exert from my journal, kept on my trip to Australia into this blog but to make a actual thought of the day entry. So my thought for todays post is Inspirations and Musings. What inspires you to do something new, something spontaneous, creative ?

For me Ive felt the tug of inspiration from a few different examples, just daily life can bring the muse of creativity to spark, making new friendships, loving times with older friends, the trials and triumphs of love, and especially music which in and of itself is created from inspiration, can inspire me to be creative. All of these can express themselves in positives brought about by inspirations.

Walt Disney World exists on the inspiration of one mans dream. A living example of how inspiration can bring about great joy and positives, monuments, tributes, even poetry can inspire to create something new. These things can touch the heart and in some cases even the soul to feel, and the expression of those emotions is what I think fuels the muse in us all. What do you think?? What fuels your muse?

Todays Poem:

This poem was written after I felt inspired listening to a friend discuss the
highs and lows of an abusive relationship. *note it is not a personal accounting*

Domestic Violence

She stared at her face by the mirrors light
surprised to see such a terrible sight
she grabbed her makeup to begin the routine
got to do it right, for she's sure to be seen

She puts on her eyes, and a painted on smile
hasn't had a natural one for a long long while
now she's off to get dressed, its long sleeves you know
she always wears them wherever she goes

Today is the day she tells herself in silence
today is the day I break away from this violence
she rounds the corner in a determined fashion
and meets face to face an expression of compassion

Apologies spew out of his mouth,
they seem sincere and yet
she cant forget what she's been through,
but what if forgiveness is truly his intent?

She thinks about the memories the good times they used to share
he says he wants them back again he says he truly cares
and so she stands there thinking and looks into his eyes
she thinks she sees a chance there.. or is it anger in disguise?

She gambles on a changed man and agrees with him she'll remain
but clarifies she's leaving him if it happens once again
he now wants to celebrate and so he throws a party
when the mornings sun rays hit her limp and lifeless body
from his tiny jail cell... all he can say is ...." I'm sorry "

Thank you for reading

Milestones

We all have them! Milestones, losing your first tooth as a kid, first kiss, first.. well you get the idea..usually milestones are joyous, celebrated cherished, most of us take great joy at birthdays.. they are milestones.. one more year weve had to enjoy life! And anniversarys too are great moments of celebrating the time shared together with your love. It was recently I saw a very close friend of mine expierence a different sort of milestone.. one Id had myself and never quite saw both sides until now. Most of the time milestones are moments of great happiness, sometimes they are difficult to take. My friend was coping with the milestone of the passing of a loved one. It reminded me even more of how much time has passed since my Fathers death. and more recently my brother. I know the days are hard in missing their no longer being there, but ever one to search for a bright side to all things.. I realized yes its sad to remember how long its been since truly missed family or friends have departed, but I cling to the cheerful thought that if I still feel this strongly a year, two years, ten years after they have gone.. and memories of them or how they enhanced my life are still fresh and vivid in my mind.. are they really gone. Alive in my heart, and in my memories.. where I still miss my Dad more than I could ever say with each passing milestone of his departure I lighten my heart to say , " Look at me now Dad! " and continue to strive to be the person I know he believed me always to become :)

What have been some of your milestones and how have you coped or celebrated?
Thank you for reading !

Todays Poem:

My Good Friend

I have a good friend
who's been with me since birth
and all my life he's been there
I never truly knew his worth
the times of life he's shared with me
are my life's fondest memories

he has always been there
with his love and wise advice
which always seemed a comfort
when my life was filled with strife

Throughout my life my good friend
has always been close by
but now our lives are changing
I said I would not cry

There's things I need to tell him
things I need to say
my good friend I care about
is moving far away

I want to say I love him
for I do with all my heart
I want to say he'll always be my greatest friend
despite the distance that keeps us apart

I hope this poem has done that job
for it's so important that it has
this man who is my good friend,
I still call him DAD!

Have a wonderful day :)

Change

I guess change has always been around.. with each new practical invention.. we latch onto a preceived easier way of life and the old way is often obsolete.. how many still watch a black and white television.. a hand written letter sadly is becoming a lost pleasure with the ease of emails. Fashion trends come and go and we ebb and flow with the change. Most changes are subtle ..and we dont notice or feel the impact as much like daylight disappearing as the sun sets, we know its happening but its gradual..we are ready for the change.. Sometimes change can come quickly and catch you off guard like a loss of a loved one.. and you scramble to adapt. Change is inevitably always good, it makes life eaiser.. or if its made life harder it makes you a stronger person for copeing... and anytime self improvement comes thats a good change. I have had both kinds of change in my life the gradual ones I've dealt with just fine.. slow.. gradual.. accepted. The sudden ones, as in the loss of my Dad,and most recently my brother, milestones in life being reached, routines being changed, as well as the highs and lows of friendships have been harder to accept, I get caught up in the fight to preserve the old way and lose sight of the truth to that old cliche' I remember it being taught to me as a religious guidance so my apologies if I misquote.. "When God closes a door, he opens a window" Ive been dealing with many new changes and where knowing they're all good, I was still lost in the fight to keep the "old way" .. if change comes to your life.. embrace it, know that even in sad reactions your getting a positive.. your stronger and somewhere theres a window of opportunity opened awaiting your next new adventure!!

Thank you for reading!

Todays Poem:

When my Father wanted to sell the house I'd grown up in, a mobile home wed built onto as budget allowed, my "home" I was inspired to write this ode to say goodbye, its a bit on the lengthy side so better bring some popcorn along :)

Farewell

I found you when you were so small
but still there was room for us all
you protected us well my friend
we were safe and dry from end to end

nailing, pounding, pampering, painting
you stood tall and firm never once waining
all around you we placed in the land
trees and flowers all done by hand

you sheltered them and protected them
and happily watched as we tended them
you watched us grow from year to year
we all grew up and not once did you hear

Thank you for all you did
my safe friend when I was a kid
holder of my memories, keeper of my heart
it is so hard knowing we must now part

no longer will i feel the warm safety of your walls
or go bumpty bump down your thin halls
Ill no longer be in your charm and grace
no longer walk into that happy place

you'll soon see new people inside your walls
still you'll have room for them all
and with luck and blessings too
your new family wil be just as nice to you

Just as nice as the owners of late
who created in you such a nice place
Take Care of your new family and please dont sway
stand tall and firm as in years of yesterday

You'll live always in my memories
and in all those I've known
I will never forget you ever
my very happy "home".

April- 1995

Yeah Im sappy I loved the house! But I realize its the people inside it that made it a happy home. Thanks for reading !

Quick Thank You

Just a short note to say a BIG thank you to EricAtRandom for his kind words on his blog regarding my little spot here in the blog world. Most kind, and much appreciated Eric Thank You! Now go check out his blog *see link to the right* and also Jaycatt Nicos too! Thanks for reading!


Quick Note Poem: what would a post be without a poem

I was here but now Im gone
Ive left this note to carry on
Enjoy your reading here today
then go to Erics blog and Jays!!

Journey

Hello!! Happy New Year!!
Wow 2007! What will this new year be like? With a number like 007 will it be frought with gadgets and seductions? Will it be lucky and packed with victories and personal success? Who can say, but I for one certianly hope that 2007 finds me equally as blessed in treasures of good friends, and strong enough to face wherever life's journey leads.

As mentioned in previous post, I recently traveled to Australia, and kept a log of my adventures. For todays post I plan to share a bit of that journey with any of you reading this blog. Its not edge of your seat action, its not James Bond thrills, its just my muddled, rambled minds thoughts as I took each step toward my destination and the fears and triumphs I observed during the course of my trek. In other words this your chance to scroll to the end NOW and spare yourself.. otherwise proceed at your own risk :) and Thank you.

It was my first time to fly, my first time to travel alone, my first time to be random pat down in security check.. *so much for my disillusion Im sweet and innocent looking* ...Exert from journal...*this is after I've made it through security and tearful goodbyes.. and am sitting in waiting area for first flight.

..I gaze about at my fellow passengers, the majority on this weekday morning, are seemingly business types it's surprising to me how many are on cell phones ha ha However just as I've been writing this a seemingly nice elderly couple has sat next to me. The gentleman was simply that, asking politely about the avaliabilty of the seats by me in a casual fashion.

After a while of nervous fidgeting, fearful anxiety gazes at the gate door and deep breaths I noticed several of those who'd been sitting in our area were filtering to another corridor, I wondered if I'd missed a gate change announcement while writing this log and got up to investigate, I walked the long corridor to where the others had ventured, and stopped at the end of the formed line... a few moments pass and I begin to have that "umm this doesnt seem right " feeling and tap the lady in front of me on the shoulder to inquire as to the purpose of this line... sigh.. of course I was wrong! Finding out this gate was bound for Philadelphia, * Lord thank you for giving me the courage and wisdom to ask questions of strangers* I quickly walked back to my seat I'd had prior to my investigation. It wasn't long and two uniformed men came and sat down next to me, they wore dark pants and white shirts with gold bars on their lapels, you knew they were airline employees. They chitter chattered together and as time ticked by I started to wonder when it rolled round to take off time and I'm still sitting there if I was indeed in the right location....once more I humbled myself to muster up the courage to ask the question. I explained it was my first time flying and all the details spilling out like a bucket of water tipped over once it starts.. theres just no stopping the flow till its drained....OH BOY! they turned out ot be so friendly and helpful and further made it nice by making conversation, the nice man told me to drink lots of water, relax and take in the view. The second man asked me what my final destination was and I answered "Sydney, Australia" the two men...and several others who oviously had been also listening all said "WOW" at the same time! I found this to be a funny moment :)

Theres more to this but I will post it in a later entry due to the length of this current post :) Thank you for reading!!

Todays poem:
Since todays post was about facing fear and doing something worthwhile in life Im sharing my poem called

THE CLIMB

My eyes the gaze upon the shape,
a pointed peak a widening base,
indrawn breath taken in air thats still,
each step towards it defies my fears will.
to tell my friends hey let me bail,
fears so strong I can't prevail,
but keep at it to succeed I do,
to climb the rock so strong and true,
my heart is pounding fears cadence song,
run, now run before something goes wrong,
a battle of wills fighting the feelings,
I gear up and step on this rock I am seeing,
with matrix stillness all things go then,
as Ive touched this rock the moment ZEN.
adrenaline high as the thrill kicks in,
I climb to the top shout to fear.
"I WIN".