Rosa's Rambles
Crossing the Line
Hello to all of you who bless me by repeatedly coming back to gaze your eyes upon my scattered ramblings! I apprecaite you :) Thank you.
You know how you go along in life and suddenly realize there's an awful lot of conversation about a particular topic with many people at different times over time?
If your still with me after that lengthy intro let me elaborate a bit more for clarity.. You cross paths with one friend .. in the course of convo they mention as an example " I really admire your smile......." fast forward to another conversation with another friend later in the day or even the week and your told " I really admire your smile ..." .... and so on and so on .. until your suddenly thinking.. "Hmm..." . I've been expierencing this sense of dejavu on topic matter for a couple weeks now.. having been told by a handful of my friends in conversations.
The repeating comment in all encounters was I was thought to be a brave person for having gone to meet virtual friends in a real life setting. I have crossed this line a total of three times now in life and always being caught up in the excitement never stopped to look at it from a bravery point of view. It got me to wondering .. am I really brave or is it just a natural progression of a great friendship... So I'm making it a blog entry to ask.. "What would you do ?"
Would you travel in real life to meet a online friend?
I say friend because aquaintance leaves the impression of a level of unfamiliarity of the individual.. you know them.. but not really well. Do you think its possible to really know a individual.. online.
I met Braddie and Rysidian after having known them online for about 2 years.. I faced my fear to fly and took my first airplane trip of my life and journeyed to Sydney, Australia to spend 3 wonderful weeks in their country and company. I suppose to the outsider it looks very foolish to place that amount of trust in two individuals Ive only known over internet supported communications.. for me though.. I just put faith in my judgement of their character. I trusted them. and as it turns out .. I had a wonderful time. Now I do feel its important to note my cautiousness when the idea first surfaced to visit them in real life I questioned them quite personally.. even joking with them.. I had to rule them out as axe murderers. The point is , after 2 long years and daily contact.. I felt a level of trust enough to take that step and cross the line of virtual reality to reality.
Id like to claim... " oh well I knew the person a really long time before meeting them in rl " to all my exxamples, however with the next two I would simply be lying. I knew Jaycatt and Frogg for a while, yes.. but not even a year when I actually met them in person... Jaycatt and I talk in a voice messenger program every single day. Its like a phone call every morning with the same person over and over and over.. you develop a sense of trust with this person.. you might not have gained in just text only. I was not fearful at all to meet Jaycatt.. I just "knew" him and knew I was in good hands to visit. I admit I didnt know Frogg as well, having little interaction with him online.. but I placed my faith in my trust in Jays good judgement and my own assesment of Frogg and just trusted it would be all good. And it was!!
Meeting Patrick, Id known him even less time than Jaycatt and Frogg, however with the aid of voice and web cam daily.. again I think you get to 'know' a person better, the camera allows that body language info to get through, whereas in text that just isnt there. I held no fear in going to meet Patrick whatsoever so its hard for me to look upon it as being brave.
My third time crossing the Online to Reality line was SLCC. Now my reason for going was the music. Most of the performers were my friends, ones in which I'd already met, so I viewed it more as a reunion of sorts than a meet and greet strangers event.
I didnt even stop to think about the many new faces Id be encountering in the course of the weekend, my mind was wrapped up in teh excitement of "Oooh! I get to see Jay, Frogg, and Patrick again! " When the moments came that I actually met several folks from Second Life...the atmosphere was so warm and friendly.. I felt no fear or anxiety at all over the moments. So again.... thats difficult for me to view as being brave. So in conclusion I am really curious... If it were you .. would you travel to meet someone youd known online? If so , do you think its brave? What factors get you to that point of ...yes, I'd do it? If not, what reasons make you reach that conclusion? I thank you for your time and reading this ramble :) Bless your heart!!
Todays Poem:
Open up that long shut door,
first step taken to gain more
cross the line of time and space
to stare reality face to face
Is it brave to travel here
shake your hand and have no fear
Is it foolish to open up
expose my real life and personal stuff
Sheltered in my online world
its easy to be a virtual girl
trust and faith place me in real life
making choices that just seemed right
Would I meet just anyone..
even friends ive just begun?
I think with time and daily care
its the bonds that grow that take me there
Is it brave and am I wise
or is it foolishness wrapped in disguise
does excitement shadow common sense
and have me leaping o'er the fence?
Brave or not with delight I exclaim
on each trip taken, I was grateful I came
Gained so much from each trip
from life's sweet cup.. Ive taken a sip.
Rosa Gardner September 2007
Thanks for reading.
You know how you go along in life and suddenly realize there's an awful lot of conversation about a particular topic with many people at different times over time?
If your still with me after that lengthy intro let me elaborate a bit more for clarity.. You cross paths with one friend .. in the course of convo they mention as an example " I really admire your smile......." fast forward to another conversation with another friend later in the day or even the week and your told " I really admire your smile ..." .... and so on and so on .. until your suddenly thinking.. "Hmm..." . I've been expierencing this sense of dejavu on topic matter for a couple weeks now.. having been told by a handful of my friends in conversations.
The repeating comment in all encounters was I was thought to be a brave person for having gone to meet virtual friends in a real life setting. I have crossed this line a total of three times now in life and always being caught up in the excitement never stopped to look at it from a bravery point of view. It got me to wondering .. am I really brave or is it just a natural progression of a great friendship... So I'm making it a blog entry to ask.. "What would you do ?"
Would you travel in real life to meet a online friend?
I say friend because aquaintance leaves the impression of a level of unfamiliarity of the individual.. you know them.. but not really well. Do you think its possible to really know a individual.. online.
I met Braddie and Rysidian after having known them online for about 2 years.. I faced my fear to fly and took my first airplane trip of my life and journeyed to Sydney, Australia to spend 3 wonderful weeks in their country and company. I suppose to the outsider it looks very foolish to place that amount of trust in two individuals Ive only known over internet supported communications.. for me though.. I just put faith in my judgement of their character. I trusted them. and as it turns out .. I had a wonderful time. Now I do feel its important to note my cautiousness when the idea first surfaced to visit them in real life I questioned them quite personally.. even joking with them.. I had to rule them out as axe murderers. The point is , after 2 long years and daily contact.. I felt a level of trust enough to take that step and cross the line of virtual reality to reality.
Id like to claim... " oh well I knew the person a really long time before meeting them in rl " to all my exxamples, however with the next two I would simply be lying. I knew Jaycatt and Frogg for a while, yes.. but not even a year when I actually met them in person... Jaycatt and I talk in a voice messenger program every single day. Its like a phone call every morning with the same person over and over and over.. you develop a sense of trust with this person.. you might not have gained in just text only. I was not fearful at all to meet Jaycatt.. I just "knew" him and knew I was in good hands to visit. I admit I didnt know Frogg as well, having little interaction with him online.. but I placed my faith in my trust in Jays good judgement and my own assesment of Frogg and just trusted it would be all good. And it was!!
Meeting Patrick, Id known him even less time than Jaycatt and Frogg, however with the aid of voice and web cam daily.. again I think you get to 'know' a person better, the camera allows that body language info to get through, whereas in text that just isnt there. I held no fear in going to meet Patrick whatsoever so its hard for me to look upon it as being brave.
My third time crossing the Online to Reality line was SLCC. Now my reason for going was the music. Most of the performers were my friends, ones in which I'd already met, so I viewed it more as a reunion of sorts than a meet and greet strangers event.
I didnt even stop to think about the many new faces Id be encountering in the course of the weekend, my mind was wrapped up in teh excitement of "Oooh! I get to see Jay, Frogg, and Patrick again! " When the moments came that I actually met several folks from Second Life...the atmosphere was so warm and friendly.. I felt no fear or anxiety at all over the moments. So again.... thats difficult for me to view as being brave. So in conclusion I am really curious... If it were you .. would you travel to meet someone youd known online? If so , do you think its brave? What factors get you to that point of ...yes, I'd do it? If not, what reasons make you reach that conclusion? I thank you for your time and reading this ramble :) Bless your heart!!
Todays Poem:
Open up that long shut door,
first step taken to gain more
cross the line of time and space
to stare reality face to face
Is it brave to travel here
shake your hand and have no fear
Is it foolish to open up
expose my real life and personal stuff
Sheltered in my online world
its easy to be a virtual girl
trust and faith place me in real life
making choices that just seemed right
Would I meet just anyone..
even friends ive just begun?
I think with time and daily care
its the bonds that grow that take me there
Is it brave and am I wise
or is it foolishness wrapped in disguise
does excitement shadow common sense
and have me leaping o'er the fence?
Brave or not with delight I exclaim
on each trip taken, I was grateful I came
Gained so much from each trip
from life's sweet cup.. Ive taken a sip.
Rosa Gardner September 2007
Thanks for reading.
posted by Rosa Rambles at
7:23 AM
3 Comments:
Wow... great topic! I think there is a great deal of difference between online relatioships and RL relationships. On one hand, I've gotten much closer much faster in online relationships. On the other, the same reasons for that cause differences to come through as well.
There's a level of anonymity at the start of an online friendship. You can open up more right up front because you're shielded behind that anonymity. As the friendship progresses beyond anonymous, you've already got a lot on the table. I think it's this progression that makes a fast track to deeper friendship.
On the other hand, all of this openness sometimes fades in person. People who are very shy in RL can be very outgoing in an online environment. In Second Life I hug everyone. In real life, I don't -- unless I'm REALLY sure they'd want a hug from me. I'm rarely awkward online. I can be very awkward in real life with new people.
As for trust, I don't know how to answer that. I trust by network. If many people trust someone online, I can. I wouldn't trust my own judgement alone to determine whether I should go visit an online friend. The stuff you talked about definitely bridged that gap... talking and video chat are a midpoint to real life. That would inspire trust more quickly.
Other things, like real life examples add to trust. You said you're a wife and mom of two. You sent a few pics of your family and I could see it was all real. All things combined, I would trust you to the ends of the earth. :)
Boy, I'm rambling here. But I've been friends with people online for so many years. And they are definitely divided into those I'd meet and those I wouldn't. I consider myself blessed to have met you -- online and in person. Thanks for being my friend.
Normally I wouldn't assume there's anything to fear from meeting an online friend in person. If I even want to meet them, that presupposes a level of trust which would make it possible to go and meet them without fear. So yeah, I think I'd feel the same as you - I'd be so excited about the prospect of meeting them that the idea of bravery wouldn't even occur to me.
Incidentally, there's this dream I have. I'm in Germany, but by far the most of my online friends are in the U.S. or in the UK or elsewhere around the globe. I have a special birthday coming up in a little more than 2 years, so I'm thinking I would love it to meet with my best online friends in London for the occasion. London seems to be as good a halfway meeting point for all of us as any. Maybe not exactly on my birthday in January (January in London ... ugh!), but a little later - April or May perhaps. Would I travel there to meet my online friends? Oh yes!
Rosa, you've once again performed a very neat dissection of a tricky topic. When I think about being "brave" in meeting someone, I'm not so much thinking of danger (though I suppose we must, to a reasonable level). It's more a projection of the issues involved in any new social situation, especially one that's totally optional, and freely chosen. It's always easier and "safer" to not reach out, but you got past that -- and therein lies the bravery.
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